Security Resistant Terrorists

Security Resistant Terrorists

Lat: N 39° 56.552
Long: W 075° 08.728

Hey Team,

I’m soaking wet and going on my thirty-fifth hour without sleep right now. So far everything is going EXACTLY as expected. Honestly, I had a great time today and I’ll try to have a run down of my Philadelphia experience up tomorrow sometime. Tonight you kids are the privileged few who get to experience my newest airport rant! And I’m really sorry the really for real site isn’t up yet. I promise it’s someone else’s fault.

Okay, suppose you want to travel by jet somewhere AND you want to bring toothpaste, deodorant and contact lens solution. Tough. TSA says no. And they don’t leave you a lot of wiggle room. You can’t have any container bigger than 3 ounces and all of your containers have to fit in a clear zip-top sandwich bag. By itself I suppose that’s not terrible. But don’t forget to take off your shoes. OH! And make sure your laptop is out of it’s case…whoops don’t forget the camcorder too! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!

“No, now please empty your pockets.” Things are getting WAY out of hand with airport security. And here’s my new scary theory.

Are we REALLY stopping terrorists from attacking by adding an hour and a half to your travel time? No, what we are doing is forcing them to be more clever. Challenging them to come up with new more inventive attacks. Instead of getting attacked from a predictable angle we are going to get blindsided by something completely unexpected. It’s like using stronger and stronger antibiotics until we create a drug resistant tuberculosis…but instead we’re making airport security resistant terrorists. Scary, eh?

Now, wouldn’t you rather have someone try to punch you in the face, so you can see it coming and possible block, than sneak up behind you with a baseball bat? (I’m just going to answer for you, for the sake of rhetoric.) “Hell yes, Brett! Why would you even ask such a stupid question?” Okay, so knowing what’s coming is benefit one, but IN ADDITION, by giving the bad guys the easy predictable route that also means we don’t have to wait in crazy-long lines and COMPLETELY unpack our bags just to be allowed the privilege of departing on the plane. It’s a win-win…win situation. (someone will get that)

Rant end.

In a mildly unrelated note, I didn’t get much sleep on the plane because much like in cartoons I was the little guy sitting in between two HUGE dudes who really liked their armrests AND there was a baby screaming right behind me nearly the entire flight AND (I kid you not) no less than five times did a stewardess get on the intercom to ask, “Do we have a doctor on the plane? A nurse? An RN? Anyone with medical experience, please press your call button immediately.”

To sum up: I don’t like security checks, I spent four hours of my day as a fat man sandwich with a side of French cries AND I probably contracted an incurable disease on the plane. I am SO glad the rest of the trip is happening by rail!

I’m done.


By the way, thanks everyone for checking out the new profile. If you guys subscribe to the blog it’ll be easy to get updated when I add a new blog and once the real site is up (hopefully in the next day or two) I’ll still be able to keep you up to date via the myspace. Thanks, Team.

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