Amtrekker
Hey Team,
I’m an unemployed vagrant. All I have is a backpack full of technology, a shoestring budget and a very important list. When everything is crossed off my list I get to go home! Let me know if you want to trade one of those shoestrings for help. brett@amtrekker.com
See where
Amtrekker's been for the last 465 days.
See where Amtrekker's been for the last 465 days.

  1. Tube down a river
  2. Ride a horse through a covered bridge
  3. Sleep in a lighthouse
  4. Learn survival skills
  5. Enter a hot dog eating contest
  6. Walk to the top of the Empire State Building
  7. See a live taping of The Colbert Report
  8. See a game at Fenway Park
  9. Milk a cow on an Amish farm
  10. Wade through a cranberry bog
  11. Go into a coal mine
  12. Take part in a Civil War reenactment
  13. Race dirt bikes
  14. Make Moonshine
  15. Hitchhike
  16. Learn to Sail
  17. Try my hand at kiteboarding
  18. Pet a sloth
  19. Help out on a plantation
  20. Learn to run a 3 card monte game
  21. Tell Donald Trump "You're Fired."
  22. Be a guest on a talk show
  23. Hang gliding
  24. Be part of a stage illusion
  25. Be in a movie
  26. Experience Comic Con
  27. Go on a lobster boat
  28. Scuba dive in the Atlantic
  29. Drive a race car
  30. Go to an obscure small town festival
  31. River kayak
  32. Geocache in all 48 contiguous states
    Profile for Amtrekker
  33. Collect honey from a beehive
  34. Scale the lowest highest point in a state
  35. Arkansas Crater of diamonds state park and look for a diamond
  36. Ride the fastest roller coaster in the country
  37. Go through a hedge maze
  38. Catch a firefly
  39. Motorcycle Rally
  40. Ride a cow
  41. Sandboarding
  42. Ride an ostrich
  43. Create a crop circle
  44. Fly fishing
  45. Swamp boat ride with gators
  46. See a movie at the Alamo Draft House
  47. Tour the Crayola Factory
  48. Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard
  49. See a Freak Show
  50. Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon


Less Than Helpful:

Hey Team,

Sorry for the dearth of updates this week. Charleston has definitely been keeping me on my toes and I was staying at a Couch Surfer’s (awesome dude by the name of Lee) house outside the city so there wasn’t much quality time with Charley.

Battery Park Battery

First, a question: How come history gets so much more interesting as you get older? Is it just because you have more personal history than you used to? All I know is “History” was one of those classes I always DREADED going to but (and maybe it’s just because I get to see these things live and in person, but I don’t think so) wandering around Charleston has been awesome and I LOVED seeing the Fort Sumter exhibit and Battery Park. Mind blowing.

On a more personally historic note…#19 is off the list! Ka-KOW!!! While in Charleston I made a day trip out to Boone Hall, the most photographed plantation in America (for obvious reasons once you get there), with Angie, one of Lee’s friends and my private tour guide for the weekend.

I know the list says, “Help out on a plantation” but if I’m being completely honest the amount of help I actually offered is probably dubious at best. I had emailed the plantation previously but hadn’t heard any word back from them and since I have to be up in New York next weekend for sailing lessons courtesy of the Atlantic Yacht Club I didn’t have time to wait around.

Road into Boone Hall

It wasn’t a very auspicious start to the day when we pulled up to the gate and explained my situation only to be told that we couldn’t even get on the property to talk to someone without paying $17.50. I don’t know what your definition of “shoestring budget” is but mine sure as hell doesn’t include the wanton spending of twenty bucks in the HOPES that I might get to cross something off the list.

Plan B brought us to a historical site outside the gates and down the street from the main entrance to the plantation. More importantly it brought us to a parking spot right across the street from a short fence marking the start of plantation property…

While traipsing through an irrigated field on the portion of the 700 acres of Boone Hall that is still farmed we ran across a truckload of laborers picking cucumbers. With the confidence and aplomb that often deceives people into believing I know what I’m doing (or at least am supposed to be where ever I happen to be) I marched up to the truck and offered my services.

“Hey, can I help?!”

*blank stares*

“Do you need any help picking cucumbers?”

More blank stares followed by, “No hablamos.”

“Oh! Um…Me ayudo? Wait! No! Crap…that’s not right…” Eight farm workers exchange confused glances at each other while I stumble through forgotten Spanish in my head.

“Yo quiero ayudar.” I pull out a broad grin and hope for the best. One of them smiles, taking pity on me.

“Necessitas decir a el,” she points to the white truck driving towards us and not wanting to get kicked off the property before I’ve even seen the plantation proper I beat feet in the other direction after thanking them for their time.

Boone Hall Plantation

The rest of the day brought with it a pretty thorough exploration of the plantation property and I’ve got to say I was pretty impressed. If it weren’t for the severe deficiency of funds I think I would have gotten my money’s worth even if I had dropped the $17.50.

I learned a fair amount. Always good. Saw some very cool things. Tried to help the lady in the butterfly house. Kind of failed at helping an injured butterfly with a piece of duct tape. Offered my services in the “Hospitality and Information” building where the lady in charge was neither hospitable nor informative. I suppose I was less than helpful there too. I tried to help feed the horses but they didn’t seem to enjoy the balsamic vinaigrette I put on their salad.

But the old man performing the period hymns seemed to like having me help out on percussion. I swung back through the cucumbers on my way out and managed to help pick a few (…but the laborers were gone by then and I didn’t know what to do with them so I just put them in my pocket). AND, look at all the free advertising they’re getting this week. I’d say that’s mission accomplished and a firm “win, win.” What do you say?

I’m done.

Brett.

More Boone Hall pictures here.





If you want to help me get by on more than just aplomb…why not donate?


Don’t let me stop you.


5 Comments »

  1. That house is exactly what I expected to see for a plantation, weird.
    So is South Carolina really full of “smiling faces, beautiful places?” Because everytime I see a license plate from there I really want to go. ;)

    Comment by Jess — June 1, 2008 @ 11:22 pm

  2. Brett! Did you actually get to go out to fort Sumpter!? I’ve actually been there! You can still see the actual cannon balls that broke through the fort’s outer walls! If you get the chance since you’re in the area you should head up to North Carolina and check out Kittyhawk where the Wright brothers flew, and also Roanoke the lost colony. Both amazingly awesome historical sites worth your while, and might top the TASTHIB list.

    Comment by georgerocks — June 2, 2008 @ 7:05 am

  3. I’ve been to Boone Hall Plantation!! It’s sooo purty!

    Comment by Jill — June 2, 2008 @ 7:16 pm

  4. @Jess: Minus the “Hospitality” lady pretty much everyone has been friendly. And it IS a much cooler state than I originally expected. Go check it out.

    @georgerocks: I didn’t make it out to the fort but the have a museum on the land. Definitely missed out on some epic historical places. :(

    @Jill: YAY!!!

    Comment by Brett — June 4, 2008 @ 12:55 pm

  5. Is that a pocket full of stolen cucumbers or are you just happy to see me?
    I like that the field workers were confused as to why in the hell you would want to help. for free.
    breaking and entering to do volunteer work. Now that’d be a good reason to have a warrant!

    Comment by ilott the douchebag — June 11, 2008 @ 2:57 pm

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