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Enough Wading Already

Hey Team,

There’s been a whole lot of wading going on in the last couple days. Most importantly I went wading through a cranberry bog yesterday! Granted, it almost killed me and I’m more than a little surprised I didn’t lose any toes to frostbite but it’s done. And I have to admit it seemed like a much better idea six months ago when it made it on the list and the weather was nice and warm than it did yesterday when I was standing in front of an irrigation canal with my pants around my ankles.

I’ll even admit I may have lost my normally calm and cool composure when I started screaming things like, “NO NOO I CHANGED MY MIND!!!!” and “PLEASE GOD HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE I CAN’T FEEL MY FEET!!!” but all’s well that ends well, right? I can’t wait to get the video up so you guys can see how pathetic I’m capable of being. (Sometimes sarcasm just doesn’t sound right in type.)

Speaking of video, that’s where the rest of the wading comes in, I have a pile of tapes next to me as I type this and it amounts to about five podcasts More >

Give The Little Guy A Chance

Hey Team,

Here’s what I like about the little guy. (Provided he has the guts to step up.) He tries harder.

What does that mean? Never travel by Greyhound.

As I was trying to find an acceptable way to escape Portland, Maine today I ran across the Greyhound website. Luckily, I learned my lesson after the whole “pedophile debacle” and spent a little more time searching the web before making a decision. That’s when I ran across Concorde Bus Lines, which isn’t necessarily the end all, be all when it comes to mass transit but it turned out to be a considerable step up from the Pedo-wagon.

Not only was it cheaper than Greyhound, it was cleaner and smelled like Pledge furniture cleaner. Greyhound smells like puke after taco night mixed with the feces of an aquatic animal. You know why aquatic animals never bother to properly digest their food? They live in a toilet. Next Question!

Concorde Bus Lines actually staffs a full kitchen staff at their corporate headquarters and ships fresh continental breakfast to every bus, every day. Bananas and yogurt for every one. Well, that’s a lie, but I will consider bus travel from now on every time I travel from Maine to More >

Not The Most Beautiful Thing

Hey Team,

The weather has been terrible in Portland the last two days. Non-stop rain and wind. And no lobster boats have been going out so I guess I’ll have to settle for the time I spent out with the lobstermen (As in people who catch lobster for a living, not giant half man, half lobster monsters hell bent on taking over the world. Come on people, focus.) on Thursday. I got to do what I wanted to do when I put #27 on the list. I just got greedy and wanted to do MORE of it. So, it gets crossed off but not with the hardy “Ka-KOW!” that I would have liked. Maybe I’ll get another chance later on.

On a side note: The crappy weather hasn’t stopped me from exploring the city.

[Disclaimer: The pieces of the puzzle are all there. You know I have an extremely hyperactive conscience when it comes to all things societal and you know I have NEGATIVE sense of direction so this story will probably come as no shock whatsoever and may bore you to tears.]

I was walking through the pouring rain yesterday, fighting the winds desire to be the one in control of the umbrella More >

Lobster Bucket

Hey Team,

It never fails to surprise me when I see first hand the kind of power having a clear set of goals has over people. Knowing what you want and being willing to announce your objectives creates magic. If your goal were a destination then telling everyone you meet about it is like catching a ride with someone through all the traffic-congested freeways (I’m talking to you 405) and getting dropped off a block away without having to deal with all those “getting lost” bits.

I’m in Portland, Maine right now trying to hunt down a lobster boat to go out on. Yesterday I got an email from a contact I made through the site that lives in the area. I asked if he knew anyone in the Portland that could help out. He said he had a friend that tried to get on a lobster boat this summer and no one was interested in having tourists on their boats even if they were willing to work. He also said I probably wouldn’t be able to get on a boat at all in Portland.

Of course that made me think twice about going out to the wharf today. Fortunately, both times I More >

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#47 Tour the Crayola Factory [podcast]

Hey Team,

Here’s the podcast where Amtrekker takes a road trip to Easton, PA to tour the Crayola Factory and exercise a couple dormant creative muscles.

Guest starring Ace the wonder monkey and Mr. Rogers’ shirt!

Enjoy!

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I’m done.

Brett.

If you can’t help me get an “Amtrekker Green” crayon, then maybe you should just donate.

Come on, it’ll be fun!

Update

Hey Team,

I don’t have a story for today, but I do have an update. There’s been a lot of behind the scenes action going on the last couple days as I’ve been trying to find a new way to bring in a couple dollars to the site to support the adventure. Things are moving forward now so we’ll see if anything shakes loose. (That always reminds me of Beetlejuice.)

The new podcast should be done later today (worst case scenario: drop the “r” in that last sentence and add bold caps). It’ll be about the Crayola Factory Tour and it’s about half done as I interrupt myself to type this note.

Tomorrow is the Maine adventure (Get it? Huh? S ee what I did there…Maine? Main? Man, I kill me.) But I’m SO not looking forward to being cold. All right, Team. Talk to you soon.

I’m done.

Brett.

You digg it?

Hey Team,

First thing’s first. The Amtrekker podcast finally got approved on digg so your job (And this isn’t one of those “should you choose to accept it moments,” this is one of those “go do it now” moments.) is to click on this link and digg the podcast. If you have an account you know the drill. If you DON’T have an account…get one. Okay, Team…break!

Second thing’s second. I’m getting everything set-up for the trek to Maine. Next stop Portland and hopefully some lobster boating good times. Wish me luck!

I’m done.

Brett.

Ode to Amtrekker

Hey Team,

I’m not good at being cold I miss warm weather I’ve even been told It won’t get any better

I spent the whole day Wandering the city If only it were May It wouldn’t be such a pity

Went to Wendy’s for a meal Listened to bums fight What’s the big deal? Is gay marriage such a blight?

A lady gave me a haircut Outside it just got colder I wanted to leave the store, but “If I go, I’ll freeze,” I told ‘er

I finally filmed the close For the next podcast Can’t wait til it shows Better edit fast

The site needs sponsors Email to join the fun Don’t want to be like the Dinosaurs Without some help I’m done

Time to move on now To the next adventures Maybe lobster boat or ride a cow? Whatever, I’ll take lots of pictures

Okay, this weather’s getting old I’m gonna go hit the hay Eff you cold. Eff you in your stupid ay

Brett.

If you liked my Ode to Amtrekker you should donate, if you didn’t you should write your own freakin’ poem. Jerk.

Do it.


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