Amtrekker
Hey Team,
I’m an unemployed vagrant. All I have is a backpack full of technology, a shoestring budget and a very important list. When everything is crossed off my list I get to go home! Let me know if you want to trade one of those shoestrings for help. brett@amtrekker.com
See where Amtrekker's been for the last 506 days.
See where Amtrekker's been for the last 506 days.

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  1. Tube down a river
  2. Ride a horse through a covered bridge
  3. Sleep in a lighthouse
  4. Learn survival skills
  5. Enter a hot dog eating contest
  6. Walk to the top of the Empire State Building
  7. See a live taping of The Colbert Report
  8. See a game at Fenway Park
  9. Milk a cow on an Amish farm
  10. Wade through a cranberry bog
  11. Go into a coal mine
  12. Take part in a Civil War reenactment
  13. Race dirt bikes
  14. Make Moonshine
  15. Hitchhike
  16. Learn to Sail
  17. Try my hand at kiteboarding
  18. Pet a sloth
  19. Help out on a plantation
  20. Learn to run a 3 card monte game
  21. Tell Donald Trump "You're Fired."
  22. Be a guest on a talk show
  23. Hang gliding
  24. Be part of a stage illusion
  25. Be in a movie
  26. Experience Comic Con
  27. Go on a lobster boat
  28. SCUBA dive in the Atlantic
  29. Drive a race car
  30. Go to an obscure small town festival
  31. River kayak
  32. Geocache in all 48 contiguous states
    Profile for Amtrekker
  33. Collect honey from a beehive
  34. Scale the lowest highest point in a state
  35. Arkansas Crater of diamonds state park and look for a diamond
  36. Ride the fastest roller coaster in the country
  37. Go through a hedge maze
  38. Catch a firefly
  39. Motorcycle Rally
  40. Ride a cow
  41. Sandboarding
  42. Ride an ostrich
  43. Create a crop circle
  44. Fly fishing
  45. Swamp boat ride with gators
  46. See a movie at the Alamo Draft House
  47. Tour the Crayola Factory
  48. Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard
  49. See a Freak Show
  50. Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon


Buses, Bums and Me:

Hey Team,

Time to get on the move again. It’ll take a few days but I’m headed back towards the east coast (hopefully to cross the last few things off the list that have to be done there). I’m sitting on a greyhound right now wishing I hadn’t bothered wasting my time with a shower this morning. I think I’m already dirtier than I was pre-shower.

You know that scene in every tween movie where the girl sprays perfume in the air and then walks through the cloud, head held high, to catch an even coat of fragrance? Yeah, it’s like that. Sadly, it’s less Calvin Klein and more Marmaduke (after rolling around in fetid bum blankets).

Ignoring whatever that smell is (I suspect the dude in front of me using a walkie talkie as a prop so he doesn’t look AS crazy as he would OFFICIALLY talking to himself. I haven’t heard anyone talk back.) there’s plenty of room at the seats for half a child to sit comfortably for half an hour OR one grown male to sit painfully uncomfortably for eleven hours. Luckily, I fit into the latter category.

At least there are guaranteed to be interesting people every single time you jump on greyhound. (No sarcasm this time. Genuinely interesting people.) In front of me is the (potentially rancid) walkie talkie guy with a leather jacket and a captains hat (or policeman’s, I can’t tell…either way the badge is twisted sideways making the whole scene look sad anyway.)

To my right is a genuine carnie with all his teeth. Seems to be a pretty nice guy. Has a LOT to say about midways and which companies are his favorites to work for (Stay away from “Butler” apparently. Too corporate.)

And behind me is a homeless dude on his way to San Diego! That’s one of those things I’ve always wondered about. Cold weather sucks. If I were a bum (I recognize the irony…no need to point it out.) in the Northern United States I would WALK to San Diego if I had to. What do you have better to do?! If you can’t be stable at least go be warm.

Still…

I miss the train.

I’m done.

Brett.






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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 8th, 2008 at 11:17 am.

5 Comments »

  1. East Coast ehh…. too bad all the people up that way are boring. If only they would find a reason to wear soccer jersies, or silly hats for that matter. Like if a roller Coaster was inc=volved maybe…

    Comment by Mikey — April 8, 2008 @ 3:07 pm

  2. I just decided that I would like to fly to NJ for a day or two and ride the country’s fastest roller coaster with you.

    Cool. It’s a plan.

    Comment by Jess — April 8, 2008 @ 6:47 pm

  3. Yeah, those boring-ass east coasters. What do they know about fun?

    Comment by georgerocks — April 9, 2008 @ 8:23 am

  4. They better know a whole hell of a lot about having fun if they’re going to come meet me in New Jersey!

    Comment by Brett — April 10, 2008 @ 10:26 pm

  5. I hope the coaster will derail and you’ll all knock your front teeth out! Having fun without me!? pffsh! couldn’t be that cool without an ilott to officiate the shenanigans…

    Comment by ilott the douchebag — April 12, 2008 @ 7:43 am

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