Buses, Bums and Me

Buses, Bums and Me

Hey Team,

Time to get on the move again. It’ll take a few days but I’m headed back towards the east coast (hopefully to cross the last few things off the list that have to be done there). I’m sitting on a greyhound right now wishing I hadn’t bothered wasting my time with a shower this morning. I think I’m already dirtier than I was pre-shower.

You know that scene in every tween movie where the girl sprays perfume in the air and then walks through the cloud, head held high, to catch an even coat of fragrance? Yeah, it’s like that. Sadly, it’s less Calvin Klein and more Marmaduke (after rolling around in fetid bum blankets).

Ignoring whatever that smell is (I suspect the dude in front of me using a walkie talkie as a prop so he doesn’t look AS crazy as he would OFFICIALLY talking to himself. I haven’t heard anyone talk back.) there’s plenty of room at the seats for half a child to sit comfortably for half an hour OR one grown male to sit painfully uncomfortably for eleven hours. Luckily, I fit into the latter category.

At least there are guaranteed to be interesting people every single time you jump on greyhound. (No sarcasm this time. Genuinely interesting people.) In front of me is the (potentially rancid) walkie talkie guy with a leather jacket and a captains hat (or policeman’s, I can’t tell…either way the badge is twisted sideways making the whole scene look sad anyway.)

To my right is a genuine carnie with all his teeth. Seems to be a pretty nice guy. Has a LOT to say about midways and which companies are his favorites to work for (Stay away from “Butler” apparently. Too corporate.)

And behind me is a homeless dude on his way to San Diego! That’s one of those things I’ve always wondered about. Cold weather sucks. If I were a bum (I recognize the irony…no need to point it out.) in the Northern United States I would WALK to San Diego if I had to. What do you have better to do?! If you can’t be stable at least go be warm.


I miss the train.

I’m done.


Want to rescue an amtrekker from the bus?


5 Replies to “Buses, Bums and Me”

  1. East Coast ehh…. too bad all the people up that way are boring. If only they would find a reason to wear soccer jersies, or silly hats for that matter. Like if a roller Coaster was inc=volved maybe…

  2. I just decided that I would like to fly to NJ for a day or two and ride the country’s fastest roller coaster with you.

    Cool. It’s a plan.

  3. I hope the coaster will derail and you’ll all knock your front teeth out! Having fun without me!? pffsh! couldn’t be that cool without an ilott to officiate the shenanigans…

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