Ode to Amtrekker

Ode to Amtrekker

Hey Team,

I’m not good at being cold
I miss warm weather
I’ve even been told
It won’t get any better

I spent the whole day
Wandering the city
If only it were May
It wouldn’t be such a pity

Went to Wendy’s for a meal
Listened to bums fight
What’s the big deal?
Is gay marriage such a blight?

A lady gave me a haircut
Outside it just got colder
I wanted to leave the store, but
“If I go, I’ll freeze,” I told ‘er

I finally filmed the close
For the next podcast
Can’t wait til it shows
Better edit fast

The site needs sponsors
Email to join the fun
Don’t want to be like the Dinosaurs
Without some help I’m done

Time to move on now
To the next adventures
Maybe lobster boat or ride a cow?
Whatever, I’ll take lots of pictures

Okay, this weather’s getting old
I’m gonna go hit the hay
Eff you cold.
Eff you in your stupid ay


If you liked my Ode to Amtrekker you should donate, if you didn’t you should write your own freakin’ poem. Jerk.

Do it.

10 Replies to “Ode to Amtrekker”

  1. So remember when I hit that cow with my car in high school? I knew the people who owned it and well…they loved me. What does this mean? I can help you with “Ride a cow”

    You probably won’t take it though simply because 1. I’m your sister and 2. you would have to come to the warm weather (and its NOT home because not even mom and dad live in Tollhouse anymore and you can couchsurf my house since that has never been home for you. Perfect.)

    You can make it work it’ll be all symbolic because it could be in one of your hometowns annnnnd on CHRISTMAS! Now THATS a great family outing. Shoot I think that would make #40 your 4th coolest list item!

    I think you should take Dan the Amish Man up on his “ride a horse through a covered bridge” offer while your in Penn…

  2. Stupid cold.

    Awesome offer Jess…don’t hold your breath though.

    Fun Fact: The whole reason riding a cow is on the list is because I tried to ride one of the cows across the street from Sierra High in Tollhouse once upon a time and failed. Little jerks wouldn’t stand still. I felt like it was a challenge from cow community…I WILL win.

  3. Maybe someone will donate some man-pants for you, ya big girl’s blouse! It’s not even cold yet! …but then again you don’t own a coat…
    … anyway no excuses! cold is an illusion of the mind! can’t you see that now!? Once I get my weather control device operational, you’ll see…. you’ll all see…

    (oh, and you can borrow a coat for bowling tonight).

  4. This guy named Brett
    Went out on a trek
    To conquer the world at large

    He jumped on a train
    (A little insane?)
    Well at least hes not traveling by barge.

    He wears a green hat
    Carries a small north face pack
    To hold his most precious possessions

    He has a long list of fifty
    A website thats nifty
    And blog after blog of his lessons


    He sleeps on the couches of strangers
    Or on benches that have no park rangers
    He makes friends with them all
    Hes over 6 feet tall
    And he laughs in the face of hitchhiking dangers.

    Fireflies and sloths
    Bees and the Amish
    Conquering all with the tendancy of getting lost.
    Hes met many a group
    From Chicago to Boston..ish
    The latter of which he often returns to get tossed.

    His successes are many
    His failures, one
    Will he stop at any?
    Or not till hes done.

    Good luck fair Brett,
    Go ride that cow
    Your goals are set
    Go live in the now.

  5. These cows live by Sierra Elementary. They’re better. And they’re calling out your name. MMBBMMMRROOEEOOOTTTOOTTT!!

  6. I once met a guy named Brett
    On his list his mind was set
    His goal hit a stall
    But unlike a wall
    Over and on he soon went

Leave a Reply

You have successfully subscribed to our mail list.

Too many subscribe attempts for this email address


Wait! There's a book about my adventures on the way!

Have you signed up to get updates and excerpts well ahead of the plebeian public yet?

* indicates required