Which Town? [updated with pictures!]

Which Town? [updated with pictures!]

Hey Team,

I just got back from Salem, MA’s (Is Massachusetts’ even pronounceable by the human tongue or do you have to be some creepy Star Trek Kligonistonian?) Halloween happenings and thanks so much to everyone who wrote in with suggestions for places to be this year. I had a blast…a short blast, but I’ll get to that in a bit.

My digital camera broke this weekend so you’ll have to wait a bit until my camerawoman for the night sends me the pictures tomorrow but here’s the skinny.

I spent a grand total of ten bucks and ten minutes fabricating one of my favorite Halloween costumes to date. I actually bought the clothes I used at a place in Boston where they just throw a ton of second hand clothing on the floor and let you sift through it. AND they sell it by the pound. Coolest thing ever. So, I got cheap clothes AND a solid chance at an incurable rash.

Garment District

I got back to the house of Team Douchebag (Home of Michael, George and Aaron…The first strangers I stayed with on this trip and the first lifelong friends I made on this trip. You met them in one of the very first podcasts.) with my pile of clothes and ten minutes later I walked out the door dressed as Quail-man (of Doug fame). People were screaming, “Quail-Man” and asking for pictures all night! Elizabeth, my camerawoman/compatriot for the night, insists she kept strict count and the night finished at 59 screams.

Quail Man!

Speaking of the night finishing. EVERYTHING in Salem shut down at 10:30. Not just regular average shut down where everyone just mingles around outside either. This was “you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here” type closed, except on a citywide scale. Police started herding (an appropriate choice of verbs considering how many people were dressed as cows) people toward the commuter rail station as soon as the last firework faded from view.

LOTS of people

Especially strange because last year for Halloween I STARTED my night at 12:30. Another important difference between Salem Halloween and LA Halloween was the relative lack of women walking around in their underwear with cat ears on their heads. This was probably a function of the mind-numbingly cold weather relative to Southern California, but the facts remain. Frankly, (and I realize this wont win me any male fans) I preferred this. It made for some much more creative costumes.

Spy vs. Spy

Masters of the Universe

The gang!

Favorite costume:
I saw a dude dressed as a scarecrow anal raping a sheep. Disgusting and socially unacceptable or not, THAT was funny.

Okay team, that’s enough for now. I’ll update this post with pictures as soon as I get my hands on some (hopefully tomorrow) and I’ll fast track the Halloween podcast and get that up as soon as possible (hopefully tomorrow).

I’m done.


If you enjoyed this story I’ll let you buy me a costume for next year.


8 Replies to “Which Town? [updated with pictures!]”

  1. Ooh I’m glad you got to experience the Garment District. Crazy, huh?

    I had no idea that a night in Salem would end so early! That’s silly.

    Last night someone on the T was dressed as Patti Mayonnaise. No joke.

  2. Are you even disappointed that it wasn’t creepy or just because it ended so early? I think I would have been…but then again you have nightmares, sissy. 🙂

  3. There were haunted houses all over the place. I just knew better than to go into them. On account of, yes, I’m a sissy.

  4. Masters of the Universe!? Am I kidding me!? That’s freaking awesome!
    Master of the universe was actually a nickname this really submissive japanese girlfriend gave me back in the day… had a good ring to it, but I had to give her permission to speak if she wanted to address me, so I more often heard the golden sound of silence…

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