Hey Team,

Here’s what I like about the little guy. (Provided he has the guts to step up.) He tries harder.

What does that mean? Never travel by Greyhound.

As I was trying to find an acceptable way to escape Portland, Maine today I ran across the Greyhound website. Luckily, I learned my lesson after the whole “pedophile debacle” and spent a little more time searching the web before making a decision. That’s when I ran across Concorde Bus Lines, which isn’t necessarily the end all, be all when it comes to mass transit but it turned out to be a considerable step up from the Pedo-wagon.

Not only was it cheaper than Greyhound, it was cleaner and smelled like Pledge furniture cleaner. Greyhound smells like puke after taco night mixed with the feces of an aquatic animal. You know why aquatic animals never bother to properly digest their food? They live in a toilet. Next Question!

Concorde Bus Lines actually staffs a full kitchen staff at their corporate headquarters and ships fresh continental breakfast to every bus, every day. Bananas and yogurt for every one. Well, that’s a lie, but I will consider bus travel from now on every time I travel from Maine to Massachusetts. No Ilotts on that bus. No siree.

Now for some Amtrekker life lessons/advice/quotes…

When life hands you lemons, you kick those lemons in the shins!

Never get locked out of your pants.

I like George.

Blog like they’ll read today, read like I’ll blog tomorrow.


Feed a goat on Sunday in Maryland, it will change your life.

People who aren’t Amtrekker fans (or future fans) why are you reading this?

Life lesson #5 Don’t make fun of people. They might explode and take you with them.

Graffiti with chalk.

I can’t wait to saunter on to the next fraction of the list, the next one-fiftieth portion of my journey if you will. I’m out. Donate if today is a day that ends in y!

**Fair warning, in the spirit of giving the little guy the chance, I may or may not have had anything to do with the text between the third mention of the word Greyhound and the first two asterisks (asteriski?)

I’m done.


But…He/She was right about the donate thing.

Don’t let him/her stop you.