Not The Most Beautiful Thing

Not The Most Beautiful Thing

Hey Team,

The weather has been terrible in Portland the last two days. Non-stop rain and wind. And no lobster boats have been going out so I guess I’ll have to settle for the time I spent out with the lobstermen (As in people who catch lobster for a living, not giant half man, half lobster monsters hell bent on taking over the world. Come on people, focus.) on Thursday. I got to do what I wanted to do when I put #27 on the list. I just got greedy and wanted to do MORE of it. So, it gets crossed off but not with the hardy “Ka-KOW!” that I would have liked. Maybe I’ll get another chance later on.

On a side note: The crappy weather hasn’t stopped me from exploring the city.

[Disclaimer: The pieces of the puzzle are all there. You know I have an extremely hyperactive conscience when it comes to all things societal and you know I have NEGATIVE sense of direction so this story will probably come as no shock whatsoever and may bore you to tears.]

I was walking through the pouring rain yesterday, fighting the winds desire to be the one in control of the umbrella I borrowed from my host, Nickola, when I happened to cross paths with a Dunkin Donuts. A place which, mysterious, always fools me into thinking I want one of their donuts right away and then forces me into a deep feeling of regret originating from my taste buds soon after.

Yesterday I didn’t have time to regret (So I suppose that’s an upside, feel free to focus on that.) before things went wacky. As soon as I set foot out the store and pulled the donut out of its bag the wind gusted and ripped the bag out of my hand sending it sailing down the block. Down three blocks if you want to get technical. But since it was my trash I couldn’t just let it go. Nope, not my style.

Instead (because this is the smart thing to do when your shoes don’t have soles) I ran through an untold number of puddles trying to catch a small paper bag that, thanks to a little help from Mother Nature, was much faster than me anyway. But I did eventually catch it and because I had to bend over to pick it up and because there were several more large pieces of trash very nearby, in my head it suddenly became my responsibility to pick those up too…despite the pouring rain.

Eventually, I collected as much as I could carry and started trudging around looking for a trashcan. Even on the best days I can still to manage to get lost without making a single turn…this was not one of my best days. When I looked up from the trashcan NOTHING looked familiar.

So it was back to making right turns until something did (look familiar that is). Just another day in the life–.

That tattoo of a compass idea seems funnier everyday.

I’m done.


If you liked this story feel free to chip in for a sense of direction.

Don’t let me stop you.

3 Replies to “Not The Most Beautiful Thing”

  1. I like that story. Somehow I relate well to a poor sense of direction and tendency to ramble when telling stories (though I myself don’t believe either).
    H-Hey brett, when that bag was floating around in the wind, was it SO beautiful? Did you record it w/ your camera? Is that going to be a podcast? Did your feet ever dry or do you melt when you get wet? Sometimes I think about water. And Sometimes its in a glass… and sometimes I drink it. just thought you’d want to know.

  2. God Bless California and the Environmentalizms it Instills in the youf that are Home Grown within it’s awesome Boarders…HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL!!
    -Aaron Ilott

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