Hey Team,

Sometimes it concerns me that when I’m forced to spend a lot of time alone I may not be much more than a hop, skip and a jump from Crazytown. It feels like there’s a thin wall between sane and insane in my life but that wall is really more of a sheet of rubber than a stack of bricks. If I lean to hard I end up crossing that line…but so far I rebound back.

After this last week I wouldn’t be surprised if maybe there were a small tear in that sheet too.

The funny thing about Amtrekker is that people assume I spend a lot of time alone. But nothing could be further from the truth. If anything I have less alone time now than I ever have before. The alone time that I get now is a different flavor though. I don’t end up just alone but sometimes completely cut off.

This isn’t the greatest example but over the last five days I spent a total of 24 hours on a motorcycle with nothing but the sound of wind bouncing of my helmet to keep me company. In the meantime my brain took a running jump at that wall and fought of Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion for as long as possible.

I can’t tell you how many retarded skits I made up and played out in my head. (I’m not being very forward. It wasn’t just in my head. It was usually acted out loud. Silly voices and all.) The most memorable involving “OCEANO” the super-villain building a mind control ray so that he can control all the fish in the sea and amass a full scale attack on the Earth not realizing until much too late in the game that fish don’t do well on land.

In later stages I managed to start laughing uncontrollably at nothing in particular. Often harder than average…probably just so I could hear myself and not feel so alone.

I would cheer for myself every time I hit a milestone.

“Only 100 more miles to go! YEAH!!! GO BRETT!!!!”

Again, I mostly just needed to hear a voice.

In short…I’m a little concerned about my mental well-being. Maybe Charley isn’t the only one that needs get well cards.

I’m done.


Hey folks! The numbers on the site have been doing very well lately and I can only keep things running thanks to your help. Thanks a ton everyone! Every little bit helps.