Hey Team,

Since I ended up spending too much time around my mom today to actually finish the Mother’s Day card I was hoping to make I’ll instead just have to regale you with an important lesson that I learned earlier in the week.

I think I already mention this…if not I guess I could just mention it again. SO, speaking of mentioning things it turns out I was mentioned in the Wall Street Journal. Did I mention the link looks a little something like this?

The point is: It’s not everyday you get to see your own name in print in the Wall Street Journal and so once I found out, I made it my own personal narcissistic mission to go find myself a copy of the paper. Unfortunately, I didn’t find out about the article until the day after the printing. That left me with the less than simple task of finding a copy of an outdated newspaper (Does that make it and oldspaper?) in a strange city. (San Francisco. Doesn’t get much stranger.)

So naturally I started wandering around the nearest college campus…and this is where that important lesson comes in.

You can go ANYWHERE on a college campus with the line, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’m just looking for a copy of yesterday’s Wall Street Journal.”

I wandered around exam rooms, professors’ offices, classrooms and dorms and every time someone told me I wasn’t allowed there, “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I’m just looking for a copy of yesterday’s Wall Street Journal.”

Followed closely by, “Oh. I don’t think we have a copy around here but if you check over at [fill in the blank here with another location I would soon find out I wasn’t allowed in] I’m sure they’ll have a few.”

On hindsight, who would ever think that someone that looks like me (i.e. scruffy and homeless, just like every other college student), looking for a day old prestigious paper, could ever be up to no good? I shouldn’t have been surprised.

BUT, I felt like I was underutilizing my newfound tool but actually telling the truth instead of making mischief. So, there’s the secret. Next time you find yourself trying to think of a clever way to sneak around a campus in the middle of the night in an effort to steal your rival college’s pig mascot…just do it in broad daylight instead and remember: “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. I’m just looking for a copy of yesterday’s Wall Street Journal.”

I’m done.

Brett.





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