Amtrekker

Hey Team,

Here’s this week’s video starring your friendly neighborhood Amtrekker.

“Amtrekker travels to the Chattooga River in South Carolina to river kayak, get soaked and try not to die.

…that’s pretty much what happened.

(Scenes from Deliverance were roundly avoided.)”

And here’s the YouTube link.

Thanks everyone!

I’m done.

Brett.

If you enjoy the podcasts…why not donate?

Don’t let me stop you.

Hey Team,

The River Kayaking podcast is done but the numbers for the Civil War podcast are pretty low because it’s only been out for a couple days. So to give the iTunes fans a little bit more time to stumble across it without stepping over it I’m just going to post the new one tomorrow. I know…I would feel bad about this move and gypping you faithful website fans if I didn’t have such an awesome up to the minute story to share!

I’m on my way to Charleston right now via everyone’s favorite mode of transport but with the comfort of train travel comes the occasional ridiculously long layover. This time I had a few hours to kill in the tiny town of Wilson, NC.

As the afternoon wore on I suddenly realized that I only had about a half an hour before my connecting train was scheduled to pull in and if I didn’t eat in town I would have to choke down train food. I was looking for something quick but fast food seemed to be non-existent. I had seen a sign that said “Soul Food Grill” near the train station and I thought, “‘Soul food’ would take too long but ‘Grill’ sounds like it should be pretty speedy…as long as that averages out to medium speed I should be good to go.”

The grill (really more of a large room in a bus station) was a classic “Mom and Pop” quick service restaurant complete with the Pepsi branded menu with removable letters (you people know the one I’m talking about). The biggest difference was that this was actually more of a “Mom and Mom” restaurant.

“Whatcha want to eat, son?”

“Um…I guess I’m not exactly sure.”

“Want to take a look at the hot bar?”

I had NO idea what that meant but my mouth didn’t seem to care, “Yes, please.”

Marie, the woman behind the registere, stood up and retied the bright red apron around her camouflage army pants and Navaho inspired button up shirt as she stepped around to my side of the counter. She pulled the lids off of several pans in front of me and made a grand gesture without another word.

Nothing looked particularly appetizing (I was having another In-N-Out Burger craving that collard greens just weren’t going to sate.) but something did catch my eye. It looked suspiciously like ribs that had been overcooked. Ribs could fix that burger issue…

“Are these–”

“Those are pig tails.” She grinned in my direction but without much humor.

I narrowed my eyes, convinced I was being had but couldn’t keep the shock inside, “Are you kidding me?!?!”

She laughed WAY harder than I would have expected and in fact, seemed genuinely thrill that I didn’t believe her.

“No, those are pig tails all right.”

“You’re just screwing with me, aren’t you?”

Now she was cackling. I was clearly making her day. I continued to glare, still not ready to believe her. I looked to the other lady behind the register for a clue. Just a genuine smile.

“Give him a piece.” She yelled across the room.

Marie held out a chunk of meat on a stubby little bone. “It’s good. Not what you’d expect.”

“It better not be. I expect it to be hairy, curly and chewy with a hint of mud.”

More disconcerting laughter, now from both sides of the room, as I sniff the meat.

It makes me sad to have to say that it actually was really good. It tasted just like a pork chop if it had the consistency of a drumstick. Weird.

“HAHAHA You just made my day!” Cue the handshake, the smile and the discounted dinner. I liked, Marie (even more than the pig tail).

I’m done.

Brett.

Want to help purchase my next helping of pig tails?

Don’t let me stop you.

Hey Team,

It looks like I have a formal apology to hand out (followed by a request). I’ve spent the last couple days in Raleigh, NC and, contrary to an old “Day in the Life” Amtrekker video, I regret to report that I’ve had a great time.

I’ve couch surfed in three different apartments in the short time I’ve been here and met nothing but good and entertaining people that have kept me running from one adventure to the next. (Although I should note that not one of those people is a native Raleighan…Raleightonian…Raleighite…Rrrr….forget it. Point is there’s still an out and I can change my opinion again within a moments notice. Don’t screw with me, Raleigh.)

The first day was spent with Ani and Allison a displaced couple from Arizona by way of Nebraska, Colorado, Wyoming and the Carolinas with a dog and a boa both named Nala and a ferret that answered to either Bella or “Hey, ferret!” equally. I didn’t get to spend much time with them but I did get some key geocaching in and even managed to find time for the new Indiana Jones flick. (Is it just me or does it seem like it would be incredibly tough to act like an intelligent being if stuff were constantly being magnetically attracted to your face?)

Halfway through that first day I ended up with a flock of recent graduates from North Carolina State. Cindy, the actual couch surfer in the group promptly left for a month long trip through Europe the next morning so I didn’t have much QT there either but her roommates were awesome. I got to watch half a movie with Gloria before she ran away never to be seen or heard from again (relatively speaking) but the shining star of Team Amtrekker this week was easily, Laura.

I talk about people making the trip worth while all the time and cities move pretty far up and down my “Ladder o’ Urban Love” based solely on the people I meet. So Raleigh, you have some thanking to do.

Here’s a great example, courtesy of Laura, of my FAVORITE type of person to meet, period.

Me: “I want to play mini-golf.”

Laura: “Okay, right now?”

Me: “Yes.”

Laura: “Awesome, let’s go.”

How cool is that! Right…I understand. I have pretty low standards for what it takes to make me happy. But how often do you run into people out there that are willing to dive into even the tiniest adventures without notice? (And before I get a crap ton of angry emails: Yes, I’ve met several other people out there that live up to this model. All of my friends back home, the Boston douchebags, that fair haired Theresa, Nickola up in Maine is a standout, Chase and company in Nashville, Tricia in Idaho…I shouldn’t have started naming people, I’m guaranteed to forget someone…sorry Team. You know who you are.)

Here’s my point(s):
1. I love spontaneity and the people that know how to put it to good use. As they say in Beantown, “It’s fun to have fun.”

2. Life is all about the people you meet. Without them cities are just ghost towns anyway.

SO, Raleigh…I’m sorry. You have good people too. Which leads me to my request: Without Raleigh as my least favorite city in the country where am I going to refocus my distaste? Any ideas? Send them this way. You know where the comment section is.





I’m done.

Brett.

Don’t want to hate? How ’bout donate?

Don’t let me stop you.

Hey Team,

I managed to avoid not only banjo music but also any opportunities to see if I’m half the actor Ned Beatty is in what was easily one of the coolest experiences of Amtrekker so far.

Here’s the quick back-story: About a month and a half ago I got an email from Carolyn at www.wildwaterrafting.com saying they wanted to help me out with #31 on the list. Wild Water Ltd. operates on five rivers but the one I couldn’t wait to get out on was the Chattooga River near Long Creek, SC.

“But why the Chattooga, Brett? Kind of a silly name don’t you think?”

Well, welcome back, Disembodied Voice. Haven’t heard from you in awhile. But thanks for asking! (And, you’re right, kind of a silly name.)

The Chattooga is the same river that James Dickey was writing about in his book “Deliverance” AND, it’s the same river they used to film large portions of the movie, (you guessed it…) “Deliverance!”

So as soon as I got the message I called dibs on Burt Reynolds’s character and set things up for the next time I was near South Carolina, a.k.a. now.

(My thoughts always get kind of disjointed when I get excited so you may have to bear with me.)

The Chattooga is, no joke, one of the most beautiful rivers I’ve ever been down. It was designated “Wild and Scenic” by the government and definitely qualifies as both. I felt completely isolated from the rest of the world nearly the entire time I was trying to maintain my balance and avoid finding myself floating bottom up dragging my head against the river bottom.

Larissa, my instructor/guide for the day, started with a quick rundown of all the ways I could kill myself if I decided to act dumber than usual and then spent the next twenty minutes with me in a calm stretch of river showing me some basic maneuvers. I learned how to brace (using the paddle to not flip over) and how to escape the overturned kayak if I fail at bracing…but we decided to skip the “Eskimo roll” in favor of more time on the river. In hindsight I kind of wish I had tried it once just to get a feel for how difficult it is, but I made it through the day without flipping anyway so no big loss on the short term.

Even looking back with an imperfect memory it was still a great day. Amazing weather, good water temperature and a boatload of fun. I’m not sure how much of it was Larissa trying to boost my ego but I was assured I was “kind of awesome” and that it was unusual for a first timer to make it all the way down the river without flipping.

The rapids were a blast! And after awhile we stepped it up a little bit and started practicing catching the eddies behind rocks. By the time we reached the end of our set Larissa was sufficiently impressed to allow me to run the last half of Bull Sluice (definitely not the first half). This particular rapid was in one of the early canoe scenes in “Deliverance” and the Wild Water Rafting folks were kind enough to get a couple awesome shots and some footage of me not dying.

But did the awesome end there? Nope! Carolyn took me up to North Carolina and the rafting company’s Nantahala digs and set me up in a yurt for the night! Almost as cool as the kayaking itself was the amazing campground I had all to myself. So there I was after having crossed off yet another item from the list and already having a fantastic day when suddenly I get a hot tub in the woods to myself and a huge comfy bed to sleep in! It still blows my mind how kind people are everywhere I go. Carolyn and Wild Water Rafting treated me MUCH better than I deserved and I can’t thank them enough.

The next day I even talked her into going down the Nantahala with me in an inflatable kayak. (That was about the time she tried to talk me into sticking around and becoming a river guide.)

(Lot’s more pictures in the Photo Album!)

In other news: I just found out I have a warrant for my arrest out in Utah!

I’m done.

Brett.

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Don’t let me stop you.

Hey Team,

Yes, the video is very late. No, there weren’t very many updates this week. BUT, feast your peepers on this little baby!

Amtrekker travels to New Market, VA and takes part in the cleverly named Battle of New Market!

Thanks for the patience, Team! The next one should be on time!

I’m done.

Brett.

If you appreciate all the desperate blood, sweat and tears I put into every second of every video on-time or not…why not donate!

Don’t let me stop you.

Hey Team,

Costumes are something I can get behind. Halloween is probably my second favorite holiday and I put in my time on the attractions at Disney before I became a designer so, although I could never be that guy that runs to a Renaissance Fair or proudly introduces himself as a LARPer, it was a thrill to get the Civil War uniform on and slide into a different time. However, it wasn’t too long after that when I realized I was out of my league.

I walked into the camp where period ground cloths were lined up against the wall of a barn for cover just as day was giving way to night. I carried on my back everything I would need for the rest of the weekend (which is to say, almost nothing). A cartridge box, bayonet, canteen, wool blanket, and a haversack with period cutlery and a rusting plate plus a lump of salted pork. Oh! And a gun.

Noticeably missing were Charley (my MacBook Pro for those of you who aren’t “in the know”) and a sleeping bag…

Before I even had time to stake my claim on a small portion of packed dirt beneath the barn’s overhang I was called to the side to run through a few drills and safety precautions with the Sergeant Major (who happened to be a descendant of R. L. Stevenson…one of the men indirectly responsible for the trip I’m on now) and one of the Corporals (who gamely helped me look like less of an idiot pretty regularly for the duration of the weekend).

I ran through the commands for the gun positions (I’m sure there’s a better word for it) pretty quickly, faking understand as best I could, assuming that I would pick it all up as the weekend proceeded…I’m not sure I did.

That first night quickly began to look as though it were going to be a strong contender for “Most Uncomfortable Night Ever.” Sadly, thanks to Amtrekker and a miserable mosquito infested camping trip circa 1990, it didn’t even rank in the top ten. Which isn’t a statement on how comfortable the evening became…more a statement on how many ridiculously uncomfortable nights I’ve had to power through in the last year (I’m talking to you San Diego), cause don’t get me wrong: That night sucked.

There’s nothing quite like being in forty degree weather at three in the morning trying to decide whether you want frost bitten toes or all the heat to escape through your head. Based on the size of my standard issue blanket I’m going to go out on a limb and assume Civil War soldiers were several inches shorter than your friendly neighborhood Amtrekker.

4am brought with it a lot of chatter from the campfire as an unspoken unanimous decision was reached that sleep wasn’t going to happen. That’s about the time where I started weighing the merits of crawling INTO the fire. Better to be cold or singed? Worse case scenario I’m rushed to a toasty ER, right? Luckily, I’m a tough kid with just enough smarts to stick it out (although not quite enough smarts to keep me out of these situations to begin with).

Daylight brought with it company drills and, by virtue of constant movement in wool uniforms, warmth. This is the part where the Corporal’s constant dedication to keeping me in line was most important to my own appearance as a capable human being (despite several instances pointing to the contrary).

Eventually we ditched the camp and headed out for a tactical reenactment. (Read: Not a reenactment at all. More like paintball minus the paintballs.) This was one of the most satisfying episodes of the weekend. Our battalion started early and made our way through the woods all the way to the rear of the confederate army, jumping out from cover and firing into their unprotected backsides. As satisfying as that sounds it was also the source of my greatest frustration.

This was a move that would have been devastating in a paintball match but since we were all just firing muskets filled with black powder and the other side gets to choose whether or not they feel like dying it was a less than impressive situation once the rebels decided it was in their best interest to just send the cavalry charging at us. It’s kind of imposing to have horses barreling down on you without any real recourse besides pointing a heavy period cap gun at them and screaming.

So I ran away.

Still, fun times none the less. I just don’t like not winning. And it doesn’t seem like the other team is playing fair when they just stand there and take an imaginary musket ball to the face. Conversely, it doesn’t give you much incentive to fall down either…and the cycle continues.

There you go. That’s all the story time I can manage today and still get tomorrow’s podcast out in time. Thanks for checking in!

I’m done.

Brett.

Like what you read? Want to help buy a bigger wool blanket for next time? Click below!

Don’t let me stop you.