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Cruise Overview (in haiku)

Hey Team,

I’ve been sitting here staring at this blank page for a little over twenty minutes now trying to decide what I’d like to write about the Princess Cruise that a handful of twittering travel folk were invited on (and I got to tag along for some reason). I think one of the big problems is that I had more fun than I expected. It’s a tough blow when all of the stupid cruise ship jokes you have prepared don’t quite fit the situation any more. (Case in point, I didn’t get to spend all week fighting sunburned, overweight old men for the pole position at the buffet so my Formula-1 joke is out the window.)

Most importantly however, I’m just not used to writing about great experiences. You guys know better than anyone that 90% of the content on this site is a direct result of me having done something colossally stupid and the mad scramble to either rectify the situation or, barring that, at least come out relatively unscathed. If I have any complaints it’s that I kind of felt like I had my hand held for a week and I wasn’t given the opportunity to fall overboard, flounder at More >

Anniversary Sonnet

Hey Team,

Today is the “official” one-year anniversary of Amtrekker. Although yesterday was the 365th day thanks to leap year it was July 4th, 2007 when this adventure began. I’ve said it before but it’s still tough to believe things are still going.

I gave you haikus on day 100. I gave you limericks on day 200. I got angry emails on day 301 for the lack of poetry. So for the one-year anniversary I decided to rise to a new challenge.

The Amtrekker Sonnet:

Shall I compare a year of homelessness To a year of slavery to routines? Is it fair to say that “living the list” Is worth not having a spare pair of jeans? When again you wake to the alarm clock Take note of the expression on your face. Rather to give up; be outlined in chalk? Or set new goals and prepare to give chase? I took a road few would dare to travel. It makes for an uncomfortable life. A road to adventure paved with gravel. But one where the excitement trumps the strife. So long as there are things I need to do. So long lives Amtrekker’s podcast for you.

There it is. Tougher than I thought it More >


Hey Team,

In honor of my one hundredth day amtrekking I composed a few haikus in and effort to expose my soul to the world.

Now I’m knee deep in my TWO HUNDREDTH day. So enjoy the limericks.

There was a homeless dude named Brett He took all the adventure he could get He’s just a young buck Who gets by on his luck Let’s just hope he can pay off the debt

He’s just some guy with a list Who knew his job wouldn’t be missed So with Charley in tow He put on a show But if he’s not done by July he’ll be pissed

He has no sense of direction No weapons for protection A hatred of the cold He’s brave and he’s bold …and kind of an idiot

Um…limericks might be a little bit harder than haikus. Here’s the format I was told. Lines 1, 2, and 5 of Limericks have seven to ten syllables and rhyme with one another. Lines 3 and 4 of Limericks have five to seven syllables and also rhyme with each other.

Let’s see what you’ve got. Impress me with your 200th day limericks people.

And thanks AGAIN for keeping me company on this epic mission, team!

Im done.


If More >

Ode to Amtrekker

Hey Team,

I’m not good at being cold I miss warm weather I’ve even been told It won’t get any better

I spent the whole day Wandering the city If only it were May It wouldn’t be such a pity

Went to Wendy’s for a meal Listened to bums fight What’s the big deal? Is gay marriage such a blight?

A lady gave me a haircut Outside it just got colder I wanted to leave the store, but “If I go, I’ll freeze,” I told ‘er

I finally filmed the close For the next podcast Can’t wait til it shows Better edit fast

The site needs sponsors Email to join the fun Don’t want to be like the Dinosaurs Without some help I’m done

Time to move on now To the next adventures Maybe lobster boat or ride a cow? Whatever, I’ll take lots of pictures

Okay, this weather’s getting old I’m gonna go hit the hay Eff you cold. Eff you in your stupid ay


If you liked my Ode to Amtrekker you should donate, if you didn’t you should write your own freakin’ poem. Jerk.

Do it.

How long?!

Hey Team,

In honor of my one hundredth day amtrekking I’ve composed a few haikus in and effort to expose my soul to the world…I think.

Vagrant, nomad, bum He wanders the continent Completing the list

Without the strangers And their wonderful kindness I would be nothing

How many more months It’s not for me to decide Pink cherry blossoms

Sometimes it’s important for a haiku to not make any sense, most times it’s important for a haiku to talk about cherry blossoms. Mission accomplished.

Thanks for keeping me company on this epic mission, team!

I’m done.


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