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YOU’RE an April Fool! Jerk.

Hey Team,

I get SO sick of knowing that EVERYTHING I read on the internet one day a year is going to be complete and total BS. Seriously guys, it’s not all that original. We all know it’s coming. If anything it just makes me assume that even the true stuff is a lie on April Fool’s Day.

Congratulations people. Way to go. You made a handful of people that can’t pay attention to the date think that you’ve sold your soul to a talking porcupine for a box of tic tacs.

I’d be so much more impressed if someone faked a bunch of people out on the fourth of July and then just before they walked off the nearest bridge to show their complete commitment to the ridiculous lie they shouted, “April Fool’s!”

It’s like Valentine’s Day. It’s so much more meaningful if you give the gift of suckering some poor sap when they least expect it.

At the very least I’d like to see some retaliatory April Fool’s happenings. How come no one ever gets knocked to the ground and has their shoes ripped off and thrown in the garbage disposal after telling someone their shoelaces are untied?

Man, this is kind of bitter. More >

Amtrekker Spirituality

Hey Team,

My short time here in Idaho Falls has been chock full of action. In fact, yesterday was taken up by being a volunteer at a Spirituality and Wellness fair.

I’ll just let you think about what that might mean for a few minutes…

Done? Cause, yes. It’s probably just what you imagined. There was plenty of aura cleansing, some crystal healing and a sea of disillusioned middle-aged women. I learned a lot about why some people put so much of their effort into Spirituality and I learned even more about why I don’t.

This is skirting dangerously close to one of those topics I usually avoid here but suffice it to say, I’m not a very spiritual dude. It was interesting to watch other people watch with rapt attention, constantly nodding in pseudo-understanding, as someone shilling a book and CD combo explains to them that they have to find what they love in life and follow that passion.

I hate to use such a technical term but…duh. What does that have to do with spirituality?!

Also, I learned about how important it is to clear the problems of your forefathers from your energy so that you can attain a higher vibration. I thought that More >

Microwave Potatoes

Hey Team,

I think a little piece of me dies inside every time I find out a stereotype is true. Not that it happens all that often but when you travel as much as I do with only your preconceived notions to base your potential surroundings on…it happens.

I decided that instead of trying to work on one specific task this week I’d work on trying to knock off a few states in the area on the geocaching list while I organize a few others. Since I found a quick ride up to Idaho I thought, “Why not?”

But here’s the thing about driving to Idaho Falls from Salt Lake City…

Eventually you pass a Potato Museum.


In other news: I have a TON of respect for people that don’t own microwaves. Even when I had a home I never cooked. Period. In fact, at 27 I’ve still never gotten around to buying raw meat. In the immortal words of Quigley, “I never had much use for ’em”

As a result I’ve lived most of my life, outside of my parents home, capable of preparing my meals without soiling much more than a bowl, a spoon and maybe a can opener if I’m not careful. I More >

Where This Man Has Never Gone Before

Hey Team,

Looks like I’m headed to Idaho Falls, Idaho! Why?

Never been.

I figured since I’m in this region anyway I should probably get to visiting some of those states I missed out on or that geocaching objective is going to be an even bigger pain later. So I’ve lined up a craigslister that’s taking me North where I’ll probably just stick around for a day or so to have a geocaching good time before deciding which direction to move in next.

Also, I’m trying to line up a way for people to get their hands on some Amtrekker t-shirts and whatnot. I’ve looked at Cafe Press and Zazzle but I’m not a huge fan of either. I’d prefer to have them screen printed and not just ironed on like a high schooler would at three in the morning the day of the big dance to show their undying love for…well, themselves probably.

So if anyone has any suggestions or connections let me know!


I’m done.


Enjoy living vacariously? Good, cause I enjoy living. Feel free to help make that happen.


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