Enjoy the New Year’s Eve shenanigans! Here’s my gift to you (inspired by a desire to vindicate myself in the face of that crazy SOB William Shatner).

“Amtrekker travels to Beulah, MI to create a crop circle!

Failures and ethnically insensitive impressions ensue.”

I’m done.

Brett.

Here’s the rest of the crop circle adventure.

On day two Amber and I spent a little over an hour outlining the crop circle design using stakes and 1000 ft of cheap twine I picked up at the local dollar store. After the entire thing was laid out and the string pulled tight it was clear that there was NO WAY we were going to be able to tell if we made what we were shooting for or not.

It was so big that we couldn’t see one end of the design from the other so even trying to tell if the lines were straight was impossible…much less whether or not the proportions looked right. Even after another four hours of fighting to the death “mano a Russian Knapweed” I was convinced we had just spent two days and nearly 24 man-hours making a pretty mediocre looking “crop circle.”

By the time we were finished and pulled up all of our lines darkness was creeping up again and there wasn’t going to be enough time to try to figure out how we were going to get a picture to confirm our mediocrity. Instead we got up early the next morning and hit up the local airport. It’s a small strip with only a handful of hangars all occupied by private pilots so I hoped that we could just ask someone nicely to take a look around from the air and try to get a picture.

Enter Nigel the student pilot who, although unable to fly with a passenger because of his student status, agreed to take my video camera up with him and get some shots of the field. Unfortunately he turned out not to be the sharpest light bulb in the shed when it comes to direction and ended up miles from where we put in all the effort. (Not that I didn’t appreciate his help.)

Next we tried the local glider club that takes people on rides for a fee. The gliders wouldn’t be able to make it out to the field but we were hoping that maybe the tow plane could take the camera up and get a few shots. After a few hours of social finagling and some help from Andy of Papano’s Pizza fame we finally found a window where Jens, the tow pilot for the North West Soaring Club could take me up!

And since pictures are worth hundreds of thousands of my words:

And the rest.

I’m done.

Brett.

Just for the record. Bookingbuddy really is a pretty rad website if you’re looking to plan a trip. It actually allows you to search most of the top website from one location. Pretty handy! But more importantly…our new affiliation with bookingbuddy.com means all you have to do to help out Amtrekker is click on one of their ads and sign up for an awesome newsletter filled with travel deals! Thanks everyone!

Thanks!

Sorry for keeping you guys in the dark during the whole crop circle adventure. I’ve been living life without the internet all week and let me just be the first to say, “A life without the internet is no life at all.”

Now I’m in the backseat of a Subaru with two spaniels named Bo and Carl jockeying for lap position with Charley. More importantly…I have an internet connection!

Here’s the short version and I’ll give you an update with pictures later tonight or tomorrow morning:

I spent the week in Beulah, MI where I had permission to destroy 80 acres of cover crop (Russian Knapweed) in an effort to “create a crop circle.” I checked out the field in the daylight the first full day I was in town and was super pumped about the prospect of creating my own hundred foot high design in plant life. The crop was waist high and on the dying side and looked like it was going to be perfect! AND, when I walked off the field I discovered it was about 250 ft wide by 2100 ft long so there was plenty of room to do whatever I wanted.

Which was the first problem. When I was confronted with such an open ended blank page full of so many possibilities I suddenly couldn’t decide what to create. Lots of tossed out doodles and MANY suggestions via the twitter faithful later it was coming down to the wire. Darkness was upon us and all of the preparations for the circle had been made…but I still didn’t know what design to imprint on the Earth…

Rough drawings in hand, Team Amtrekker (composed of Amber, Colton and Brandon with Andy joining in later) headed out to the field under cover of night in an effort to be as genuine as possible. The rest of the team pulled out boards and rope to start making our stomping tools while I took a ruler to an extremely rough sketch in an effort to figure out the dimensions of this soon to be nightmare.

As soon as we laid out our first line and started stomping the evil commie weed we knew something wasn’t right. Despite repeated stompings the plants would slowly but surely rise back up like we had never touched them. Ignoring the problem we continued to stomp a large portion of the outline until frustration finally set in. Close to midnight we packed up and decided to reevaluate the situation in daylight.

But of course the next morning when I showed up to the field with Amber and Colton it was impossible to tell we had even been there the previous night. Armed with new tools but unsure even that would work we stared at the field for awhile listing all of the problems…including, even if we DID find a way to make it work how in the world were we going to get a picture of it?!

As a side effect to my rampant optimism, when I’m confronted with that many problems at once I tend to break things into tiny pieces until I find something I CAN do.

“Okay, let’s take the twine and stakes and lay this out.”

“But how are we going to get the plants to lay down?”

“Don’t know.”

“How are we going to get a picture of it when we’re done.”

“I don’t know. Where’s the twine?”

I’ll leave you there for now, Team. Carl seems kind of fed up with all the attention Charley is getting.

I’ll be back soon.

Brett.

Just for the record. Bookingbuddy really is a pretty rad website if you’re looking to plan a trip. It actually allows you to search most of the top website from one location. Pretty handy! But more importantly…our new affiliation with bookingbuddy.com means all you have to do to help out Amtrekker is click on one of their ads and sign up for an awesome newsletter filled with travel deals! Thanks everyone!

Thanks!

If you like watching me do stupid things (and I know you do) then you’re going to like this one…

“Amtrekker travels to Virginia City, NV to take part in the 49th Annual International Camel Races (Specifically the ostrich racing portion of the weekend)!

Watch as a terrified Brett mans up and falls down.”

AND, as usual…here’s the external video link.

Thanks!

I’m done.

Brett.

Just for the record. Bookingbuddy really is a pretty rad website if you’re looking to plan a trip. It actually allows you to search most of the top website from one location. Pretty handy! But more importantly…our new affiliation with bookingbuddy.com means all you have to do to help out Amtrekker is click on one of their ads and sign up for an awesome newsletter filled with travel deals! Thanks everyone!

Thanks!

Let me tell you a few things I recently learned about ostriches…but first I should put things in a little bit of context.

July 4th of 2007 I left home on this little Amtrekker adventure of mine thinking, “Remember Swiss Family Robinson? Man, that kid on the ostrich looked like he was having a blast!”

Fast-forward eight months to the first time I ever got a close look at an ostrich…or as I like to call them, “Giant feathered dinosaurs.” Suddenly, I was thinking, “Huh, I don’t remember seeing that kid in any other movies. I wonder if he survived the filming.”

Now that I had let fear into my heart it became VERY important to me that I find an ostrich that was used to being ridden. Preferably one that REALLY enjoyed being ridden. Maybe an ostrich somewhere that loved having people on its back so much that it would seek out interaction, softly cooing and nuzzling you until you gave in and jumped on his back making him the happiest ostrich in all the land.

I found the next best thing. Joe Hedrick makes his living raising exotic animals and traveling the country doing shows and setting up ostrich and camel races. I got in touch with him months ago but never managed to cross paths with him until now.

Yesterday I was in Virginia City, Nevada for the 49th annual Virginia City International Camel Races and Joe went out of his way to insure that I got on top of an ostrich. Except that once I actually arrived I was instantly reminded of how terrifying ostriches look. And act. (Not to mention all the horror stories involving ostrich instigated hospitalizations people have shared with me over the last year.)

I don’t know if the video shows it (I really hope it doesn’t) but I was noticeably shaking while interviewing Joe inside the ostrich pen. With the ostriches. Nothing between them and us. Maybe I’m a big sissy. Okay…I AM a big sissy. But things didn’t improve.

Just before the race Joe and I walked out into the center of the arena and talked at the crowd a little bit telling them my story and whatnot.

“Are you ready?”

“Well, I’m a little terrified but let’s make this happen!”

Then Joe addressed the crowd, “Brett here weighs about 150 pounds. The average ostrich weighs about 450 pounds and can kill a man with one kick. Standing in front of a tractor they can kick forward and pop the tired without even trying.”

“Okay, well now that you say all that I feel much bet– Are you KIDDING ME?!”

All this on top of the earlier lesson where I learned that ostrich’s eyeballs are actually bigger than their brains. So despite being assured that ostriches are only dangerous when they’re around a breeding female, in my mind I had just heard, “Driven by pure animal instinct ostriches are perfect killing machines that can outrun you and put their foot through your skull without even thinking.”

Maybe that isn’t necessarily what was said but needless to say I was nervous.

I jumped on top of the giant feathered dinosaur in the starting gate and he started to buck.

“How do I steer this thing?”

“Just hold on tight, keep your balance and hope he goes where you want him to.”

I was mostly speechless (unusual) but I’m pretty sure the look I gave the wrangler said something like, “What am I doing here?”

Over the intercom I hear, “Okay, Brett! Are you ready?!”

What the heck. This is what I came for…time to suck it up. “Let’s go!”

The ostrich leapt out of the chute and I suddenly understood what everyone was saying about trying to stay balanced on top of a 450-pound football. It’s not easy. I was mostly focused on my hands as I hung on for dear life so I missed out on quite a bit of what happened but from what I hear I started in second place and briefly held first just before my ostrich decided to sit down.

Yeah. He sat down.

I only made it through about a quarter of the race before he gave up. I jumped off the back and waited for him to stand up. Meanwhile, he waited for me to go away.

A few minutes passed and once it he decided I wasn’t paying attention anymore he jumped up and bolted for the fence. It was definitely exciting but less than completely satisfying…so when Joe asked if I wanted to go again I jumped at the opportunity.

Knowing what I was in for made round two much less nerve-racking. My ostrich jumped out to an early lead and left the competition behind. It was a slightly bigger bird and much easier to balance on so I was feeling pretty good. Apparently he sensed my glee and stopped in his tracks, turned a full 180 and made a mad dash towards where we had just come from. At some point he decided it was a good idea to stay at a full gallop despite the metal fence in front of us.

“Whoa, Ostrich! You aren’t really going to–? You are, aren’t you!”

I stuck out my feet and hit the fence at a full run. Deciding it probably wasn’t healthy for either myself or the ostrich if I continued to hang on I rolled off the back and hit the ground, quickly thinking back to Life Lesson #9 (“When in doubt, assume the fetal position.”)

At some point I got stepped on…I definitely have a bruise and a little bit of swelling but nothing you couldn’t earn at an average pick-up soccer game. I jumped up smiling and brushing the dust off. Gave the camera a thumbs up and brought my ostrich racing career to a close.

I’m actually really happy with the way things went down. If you can’t win you should at least have an epic crash to brag about.

I’m done.

Brett.

Quick thanks to Joe Hedrick and the folks from Team Amtrekker that came out to watch. It was great meeting all of you and thanks a ton for the pictures, Teri!

Just for the record. Bookingbuddy really is a pretty rad website if you’re looking to plan a trip. It actually allows you to search most of the top website from one location. Pretty handy! But more importantly…our new affiliation with bookingbuddy.com means all you have to do to help out Amtrekker is click on one of their ads and sign up for an awesome newsletter filled with travel deals! Thanks everyone!

Thanks!

Obviously my self imposed deadlines have been a joke since I bought the Greyhound bus pass. BUT, never fear…the videos are still coming. I just get fewer opportunities to team up with Charley and get them done lately.

Oh, look! Here’s one right here! Handy.

“Team Amtrekker travels to the Grand Canyon National Park on a three day journey to the world’s most famous hole in the ground!

Immense beauty and heavy breathing ensues.”

AND, as usual…here’s the youtube link.

Thanks!

I’m done.

Brett.

If you enjoy the podcasts…why not donate?

Don’t let me stop you.

I’m back! Long story short: The Grand Canyon hike was incredible. Period.

Long story long (You guys didn’t actually think you’d get away with a short story did you?):

First of all, the permits for the Grand Canyon campgrounds only allow for up to eleven people in a group so I’m sorry to anyone that really wanted to go. Originally I was hoping to make it a much bigger meet-up but it just wasn’t possible. I guess we’ll have to make the end of Amtrekker extravaganza that much bigger!!!

The permit was filled quickly with friends and family that I hadn’t seen much of in the last year. Besides myself, Mom and Popamtrekker both made it out to the most famous of holes in the ground. Nate, Saadia, Erica, Cody and Rebecca (All of whom you saw in the sandboarding video!) were there. Spence (the dude that gave me the green Captain America shirt and another of my best friends) and Jaime (a good friend that just recently made it back to the US after a four year stint with the army in Germany) and Katy Moe (a friend from high school that I literally hadn’t seen in eight years but was one of the highlights of the trip) rounded out the Team Amtrekker crew for the weekend.

We made it to our campground at the top of the canyon on the 4th of July (or “Amtrekker Day” as it has been officially renamed in my world) and after setting up camp with only minimal drama considering the number of people we had in a tight space we made a beeline for the rim to catch sight of one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever been lucky enough to enjoy!

But with dusk also came the realization that we were going to have to get up at 3:30 in the morning if we were going to have time to break camp, drive to the trailhead and still make it to the bottom ahead of the worst of the projected 120 degree heat. For some reason (probably related to my lack of ability to plan) it had never occurred to me that I’d have to be conscious that early in the morning. I was not happy.

At least not then. When it was still only 10am and we were at the bottom of the Grand Canyon and it was already in the nineties I found myself sitting in a creek silently thanking everyone for making me get up when we did.

The hike down was long and exhausting but the views were impossible to beat, especially for a team of Californians who had never seen landscapes like you’ll find in the grandest of canyons. The second half of the hike in particular was incredibly cool. It seemed like every time we turned a corner the landscape would change completely. From an oasis to a red rock canyon to a riverside beach; always something new and always beautiful.

Everyone held up pretty well. Don’t get me wrong…everyone was crazy sore after five hours and nine and a half miles with packs but we all finished within 20 minutes of each other so no one REALLY struggled.

Even though predicted thunderstorms provided some awesome cloud cover to keep the heat down. We still spent the better part of that day sitting in the creek staying cool. At least until Nate started pushing huge rocks around trying to build a dam and I realized, “What kind of guy would I be if I didn’t help my best friend try to fight nature.” Much to the chagrin of the ladies the next couple hours were dedicated to building huge systems of dams out of river rocks. Not to brag but we managed to make a pretty impressive pool. (Okay…I said it to brag. I dare you to build a better dam.)

Of course, eventually the sun set on the fun and I had to be reminded again that a pre-dawn wakeup was in the cards. Yuck.

Day two was probably the easiest. We decided to break up the hike to the top into two days and only walk midway up, to the Indian Gardens campground, and spend the night there. Again, even after breaking camp, hiking for hours and setting up at the new site it was still earlier than I’m EVER happy being awake. Luckily, I couldn’t even imagine better company to while away the time with in such a profoundly majestic location.

PLUS, the park ranger had to warn us to settle down and be quiet at 6pm…so things must have been going well. (I blame “spoons.” How can anyone ever be expected to play that game quietly?)

Day three in the canyon brought us all the way back up to the top and thanks to varying levels of sore muscles and eagerness to “sleep in” the group got pretty spread out. As usual Cody and Rebecca were champs that got off to a crazy early start and refused to take more than a few minutes to rest before powering through. But us normal folk started the hike about an hour later and met up with them later (Cody was actually insane enough to come back down a mile after making it to the top just to walk with us).

It was during this leg of the hike that plans for the “Ultimate Canyon” were cemented. Don’t get me wrong; the Grand Canyon is an incredible place. But we think we can do better. (Details to be unveiled at a later date.)

It was such a satisfying feeling to make it back to the top (made more satisfying by running the last little bit to pass Nate and Katy like they were standing still and beating them both to the rim).

My favorite sign in the canyon said, “Getting to the bottom OPTIONAL Getting to the top MANDATORY.” There were more than a few points where the hike would just get daunting even for someone that walks as much as I do. So, I can absolutely see that they must have problems with people deciding they are unable to make it all the way out. But that being said, Popamtrekker made a great point when he said something along the lines of, “Either go all the way to the river or don’t go at all.” There are some great views from the rim and the Colorado is amazing but if you just going for a stroll down to one of the rest areas you’re just going to have to walk back up.

Bottom line: Epic. Go.

Another one off the list! There are LOTS more pictures here AND here.

I’m done.

Brett.

If you love to live vicariously then maybe you’d like to just help me live…

*hint hint wink wink nudge nudge* Say no more.

Welcome back to Wednesday! Nothing to say here except to warn you that I am kind of a fly-fishing stud now. Take a look at my first pond based lesson!

And here’s the youtube link!

Thanks for watching everyone!

I’m done.

Brett.

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll make a podcast. Donate to a man for fishing and he can make even more!

Thanks!

Amtrekker travels to Lafayette, LA and takes part in a swamp tous sponsored by The Atchafalaya Experience!

Pretty pictures and no cohesive narrative ensues!

Sorry for the delay, kids. For once it wasn’t my fault. The company that usually hosts my podcasts was having issues. But now, here it is!

Enjoy!

Thanks!

I’m done.

Brett.

If you like these podcast then why not donate?

Thanks!

I’m finally back in the real world after an amazing trip to Zion National Park. My camera was dead while I was there but as soon as I get the pics from another camera I’ll post them here with some Zion story time. But for now, there’s something even more exciting to talk about!

Guess who learned to fly-fish!

I’m going to go ahead and assume you said, “BRETT!” and I’ll say, “Good guess!”

I was in the rustic world of Mapleton, UT this week where (thanks to Jesse and Adam) I was able to learn the basics from the safety and warmth of the edge of a pond.

It may not have been “A River Runs Through It” but it was probably exactly what I needed for a first try. PLUS, I’m a broke dude and free is always better than having to buy a fishing permit.

The experience as a whole went pretty well. I DID manage to catch a tree…twice. So that was fun. It was a little bit tougher to get the hang of a cast than I thought it would be.

Eventually though, after some practice I managed to catch a GIANT Bluegill! It was HUGE. At least a quarter pound (maybe even half a pound). And that’s when I realized I hadn’t quite gotten over those feelings of being an ass when you hook a fish.

FLASHBACK

I was fishing in Avalon Harbor at Catalina Island off the coast of California once upon a time not too long ago when I managed to hook a little fishy through the gill (or in some other awkward way…that part is kind of fuzzy). I pulled him up and obviously he was too small but he was also kind of injured so I felt pretty bad when I threw him back in the water.

But not nearly as bad as I felt when I got to watch through the clear water as a swarm of other fish took advantage of his injuries and began to eat him alive. That was a few years ago and I haven’t been fishing since.

Fly-fishing did have some really cool advantages over “typical” fishing though. I really liked that you had to work a little bit harder for it and it was cool that for the most part you get to see everything that’s happening. So, suddenly it’s more about whether or not you can trick a fish into thinking you’re a fly instead of just waiting for a schmuck to grab the worm you hid your hook inside of.

At least that’s a LITTLE closer to a fair Man Vs. Beast match-up. (Sadly, the beast in question was still a half-pound fish that’s lived its entire life in a pond.)

But I was assure that Bluegill can take a hook to the lip like a champ and still come away smiling…so to speak. How my teacher for the day knew this I’m not sure, but as long as I believe it I get to feel like less of a jerk.

I’m done.

Brett.

#44…GONE! That brings me to within 20 of going home! What can you guys do to help make that happen?

Lots!