Amtrekker
Hey Team,
I’m an unemployed vagrant. All I have is a backpack full of technology, a shoestring budget and a very important list. When everything is crossed off my list I get to go home! Let me know if you want to trade one of those shoestrings for help. brett@amtrekker.com
See where
Amtrekker's been for the last 366 days.
See where Amtrekker's been for the last 366 days.

  1. Tube down a river
  2. Ride a horse through a covered bridge
  3. Sleep in a lighthouse
  4. Learn survival skills
  5. Enter a hot dog eating contest
  6. Walk to the top of the Empire State Building
  7. See a live taping of The Colbert Report
  8. See a game at Fenway Park
  9. Milk a cow on an Amish farm
  10. Wade through a cranberry bog
  11. Go into a coal mine
  12. Take part in a Civil War reenactment
  13. Race dirt bikes
  14. Make Moonshine
  15. Hitchhike
  16. Learn to Sail
  17. Try my hand at kiteboarding
  18. Pet a sloth
  19. Help out on a plantation
  20. Learn to run a 3 card monte game
  21. Tell Donald Trump "You're Fired."
  22. Be a guest on a talk show
  23. Hang gliding
  24. Be part of a stage illusion
  25. Be in a movie
  26. Experience Comic Con
  27. Go on a lobster boat
  28. Scuba dive in the Atlantic
  29. Drive a race car
  30. Go to an obscure small town festival
  31. River kayak
  32. Geocache in all 48 contiguous states
    Profile for Amtrekker
  33. Collect honey from a beehive
  34. Scale the lowest highest point in a state
  35. Arkansas Crater of diamonds state park and look for a diamond
  36. Ride the fastest roller coaster in the country
  37. Go through a hedge maze
  38. Catch a firefly
  39. Motorcycle Rally
  40. Ride a cow
  41. Sandboarding
  42. Ride an ostrich
  43. Create a crop circle
  44. Fly fishing
  45. Swamp boat ride with gators
  46. See a movie at the Alamo Draft House
  47. Tour the Crayola Factory
  48. Ben and Jerry's Flavor Graveyard
  49. See a Freak Show
  50. Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon


Passenger Diversity:

Hey Team,

It’s impossible to ride a Greyhound without being thoroughly entertained intrigued by the people around you and today was a particularly great day for passenger diversity.

To my left were a couple old men who seemed to be happy chatting with each other for the entire five-hour ride to Los Angeles. I didn’t listen in for the whole ride but every time I stuck my eardrums into their business unbidden they were complaining about a new topic. I’m pretty sure I don’t have an expansive enough list of things to complain about for that long of a time.

Behind me, in an awesome display of life imitating art, were three older ladies gossiping about their families in Spanish…unless they really did just have a problem with some dude named, “Hermano.”

But my hands down favorite character in today’s bus scene was the guy who, not two inches from me, seemed to be alternating between reading a dictionary at random intervals and staring into space. I liked to sneak peeks every now and then and imagine that he was having deep, intriguing conversations with himself until he would use a word he didn’t know and have to look it up.

“Why do we keep having these same conversations?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m constantly trying to get it through your head that if you want to make a good conversationalist then you can’t go around talking over people’s heads.”

“I’m sorry, Me. The last thing I want you to do is feel inferior to yourself. I’m just so gregarious–”

“Dammit!”

Cue him snapping back to the real world and quickly flipping to the “G” section.

In other news: This morning I put on a pair of the new underwear I got yesterday and noticed a Quality Check sticker on the crotch. I laughed. Then I considered leaving it there…

I’m done.

Brett.





If you liked this post and would like to buy me my OWN dictionary so I can understand myself then feel free to make a donation!


Don’t let me stop you.


1 Comment »

  1. Brett, though no one else commented - I though this whole thing was pretty damn funny. Even the A.D. reference, but especially the one man conversation.

    I think I will enjoy senility.

    Comment by ilott the douchebag — May 28, 2008 @ 1:03 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.